life is suckish right now....

so about a day ago i worte about how awesome my life is... well now it sucks kinda bad, i'm proly gonna break up with my awesome bf, because of my own stupid problems, idk i just can't deal with commitment, iahte being contained, and idk i also don't want to involve him in my other problems. he so awesome and the last thing i want to do is hurt him, bu i think its for the best he totally deservers someone better than me, prettier too. maybe his best friend emily, shes pretty,smart, and really really nice!! idk i just want to find some easy way to explane to connor that i'm not the girl for him and i really hope we can still be friends like we were before!!! i'll be really sad if he ends up like hateing me, he really is kool. wekk other than my stupid boy problems, my thing is acting up more now than ever. i guess somebodys gonna figure it out sooner or later but i'll take later for now. everytime i ave to think about it i'm like i can't belive this is happening to me, well i guess the thing to be thankful for in all this is that i'm not dead.... yet?, anyway school is gettin to crunch time, i'm gonna start reading my ss book or else i'm gonna fail my test at the end of the yr, ewwwww, i really hate tests and failing! i just can't remember some ... well maybe a lot of the stuff thats on the test. idk i really want to pass, i also have to start reviewing my spanish, steve my brother took spaniish for 4 yrs so i'm hopeing that after his finals on moday he'll help me study. math i'm not too worried about because of my review classes on monday nights. their a real help. all my other subjects like science don't worry me, i mean ill study but mostly i ahve to worry about ss, math and spanish. english i'm not worried about although i do have to hand in a paper about ww2 on friday.

i guess thats all for now, i'm really tired , i'm gonna wait for connor to get on so i can talk to him tonight, but other than that i'm really looking forward to my bed!