my bestist frineds in the entire world!!

well i'm about to tell who my 2 best friends are... there r these 2 guys that i cna count on for anything... there names r.............................................

ben

and

jerry!!

anyflavor anythime i love them!!, i can confide in them no matter what, and they hold all my deepest darkest secerates!! along with most of my dorkyness,
so yes.. my frined andy jumped/fell into a bush and got a stick in his arm and yeah they had to take it out and he now ahd nine stitches in his arm!! i dwn loasd the pic later..

so i guess the stickwas way close to an atery and he almost died...
i've been thinking about that alot...... and u know what i don't think i'm scared to die anymore, i mean if i died today i don't think i'd have any regrets... mybe not haveing a first kiss yet, but, i don't think that counts.
i guess i'm ahppy wihtt he way i've lived muy life so far, sure i would've like to graduate, and get married have a family, but i'm not going to fear death because, of those things, and i believe i'll know when the time has coem, i believe that who ever is running my life( god or little aliens in my head) will let me know before its time, so i'll have time to say good bye.

through this ordeal, i've learned somehting... i've learned who i want to be...

not the girl i am but the girl i really am on the inside,buti've hidden her to be accepted, not any more, slowly but surely i will become the girl i've always wanted to be, the kindof emo, independent, goofy, funyy lovable lizz, that is herself, i guess it doesn't really have a title, or a lable, its just............................................

me.

mi fell funyy about this whole thing, i keep thinking i should tell my friends about this thing, but i know i can't i trust them i really do, but i can't let them in like that.... i really can't, part of me, is uncofertable wiht that and part of me, just puts up a warning, i just don't want things to get weird, i know if i tell someone it will, and then if something should happpen.... i would leave it a staged world where everyone was acting to make me feel better.... not really being themelves. and that wouldn't be fair... to me, or them....


i guess i've got a lot to think about wiht my bff ben and jerry..

peace


, steve