Makeover

New haircut, New goals for school, New school Year, New Look, New background......


i'm starting over............ from the outside in, i hope if i polish the outside, and fix up the body, it'll help the engine run smoother. Do you get what i'm saying?? well i don't feel like explaneing, so i hope you do.

so i cut my hair short again, i thought about growing out again, but i like it shorter. I'm also buying a memory ofam matress pad to put on my that will hopefully make me slee a little better. i also need to buy a new straightener......, but on abetter note, i finally got a myspace....... SHH.. tis a seceret.. at east ubntil i tell my parents,

So kow what i'm doing this week end? i'm going to the drags.. ok have to go but will post more later

number system

heres the a post of he number system it hought up.. tyr decodeing it.. although u probably won't be able to.

4026, 5084850223212 50202248 4023 50208 2284012 104046 5028 1022464850 5022308. 2'628 12405050832 50208 2003212 4010 2250 028502040601220 22 64032'50 200628 2250 02828 308304046227086.

28850'48 4888 6420050 2622326 4010 64822466 44030308325048 22 12850 4032 50202248 40404850!

200200!

City...

new song on my play list 2 actle Graity- which is my theme song right about now. and City because its so awesome. I'm working n the paino parts right now. there really pretty, even without words. i'm aso working ona new # word system(not thats not a typo) i'll be posting it later.
still; haveing problems.. oh well

gravity

set me free, leave me be, i don't want to fall another moment into your gravity..........


i wish his pull wasn't stronger than an addiction, but to me it is, i can't seem to avoid him like i want, and soon enough i'll have to see him every day. every mornigh. and it doesn't elp our families are hanging out. Things are worse then ever. i can't even get away from it when running, because i take all my frustration out in running. every peron that kinda looks like him makes my heart jump.....
and the worst part of this.... i'm afraid..................


afraidbecause i've never been this far under. been this into someone. its scar. every crush i've had has lasted like a week tops..... and ths addiction to his gravity.... really really scares me.

what ur brother tells u in the hot tub at night

1- ur jail bait
2-what it feels like to be buzzed
3-thestory of how ur oldest brother got broken up with his not rally girl friend via text



interesting...................

blah to my existence...........

bad few day.. i feel like shit.. i look like shit...... i ahve no appitite, i have no craveings, i have a constant ache in body, i feel angry at random tmes, then suddenly i just want to cry, and no its not PMS cause i just got over that, to add tot he list, i have an extreme need to just watch movie where every1 dies ortheres a lot of exploding and guns and stuff, i won't even read romance stories any more, i hate happy ending, i wo't watch tv shows with romances, i won't listen to music about love.....

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITHME!!!!!!!

everytime i look at my self in the mirror, i don't se the same me, i don't dream any more and whne i do thee nightmares,
\i thinkk i know hte problem.........rejection
i tried so hard to be the person he would want, i tried to be me, i tried to really find myself and be confadent....... and i was rejectd.......

is that thecause of all this? is that the cause for all this crap.... idk.......

help me please..... i have an extreme girl 911

good news...

good news first...... my parents are tlaking about cleaning out our old and no longer used"toy closet" which has a door and u walk in and tit has shelves and stuff just like a regular closet on its filled with toys me and my brothers used to play with...... now they want to convert it into a closet for my... they said they would if i helped them haul all the stuff out, clean it,a nd decide what to keep in the basement for the "grand kids" and what to take to the mission... and my dad says I have to move all my clothes in there and sort them myself,a dn that in no way was i going to make him help with that.......
this is really random...my mom almost gave me a heart attack when she said it. i was like ARE U F- I MEAN REALL Y SERIOUS.! and turn out they really mihgt be... its kool....... i asked my mom why and she said its cause my room is small and so is my closet and i just dont have the storage i need as a girl.... hmph moms can really pull through at times!!\
ok now onto the bad news..... it seems the only guy i've been srushing on is deff. not interested ....... hm story of my life..

and

i din't run tonight......... SHit!

i'm updateing because i was told to by my friends

wow.. so this is my first ffical week of summer.. and i really only have like 3 weeks left
between, babysitting, and working at the barn, pt, dr apt. running, and theripudic fittings.. i've had NO time what so ever.. it was nice on vaca when i could wake up knowing i didn't have to go to vestal., or jc, or pt, or to the barn, most of the time, i make hot chocolate, and go out on our deak that faced the ocean, and sit out there until i really woke up. it was so nice haveing a house on the beach this yr. it was nice because wheu wre ready to come inside for like half and hour in the middle of the day.. u could... we usually went out to the beach around 9-10:00. and usually went in around 5-6. me and lindsey b would go in around 5, and shower, before everyone else came in becasue when there are 21 ppl in a house and 5 showers lines form pretty quick. vaca was fun.. beach volly ball was the best, we ahve pics.. i might get around to post.. might not. diveing was the best because u would get sand ALL over.. i mean every where in ur swwimsuit i ur toes... EVERYWHERE! but then when u were done and hopt u could just run down the not really wide beach and into the wavesto wash off, and ifthat didn't work.. our house had a pool we would often jump in to get the sand outta our pants.
lwl

so i've spent this first week off, oing various things, monday morning i rode prince...... i worked him pretty hard, but he wasn't lkistening so i hd to keep makeing him canter becasue he wouldn't slow down like i kept aking him to. so when i got off he was pretty sweaty so i had to hose him off, and we went to put him in the pasture and he starts favoring his right front hoof. WHAT THE HELL!!! he was doing so good and he suddenly tuns up lame?>??? well that runined my plans for the week. i was going to rinde hm 5 others times, but i ended up not riding at all becasue of this. We have 3 weeks until his fisrt show, he still won't trot all the time he does that funny fast walk thing, and we just decided to switch him to english....... which means i ahve to train now to... i started wrking english on a large gelding before my surgery, but after, when i started riding again my parents, my dr, my physical theripsist and i all agreed that posting would have to wait, and i could pick it up again when i was further along.........
wll after the last show, when i helped anna, and chelsie, i realized prince was way to fast to be a western horse which we had known from the start.......so tommorow, i saddle him up english and hope he trots so we can strat working and be ready in time for the show in september.....i also found out that i have to buy him a black headstall, and we have to get him a new bit.. butmy traineralready has one we can use.....

ok so other than worrying about my hore this week, i finished the Dragon ball z episodes, and watched a special call the history of trunks... i also caught u on my redvs blue, and i started watching Draon ball GT the series that comes after Dragon ball Z.. though i don't like it that much because my favoriate character, Gohan, is grown up, and kinda a wuss, and not as powerful as before... i like him when he is 14-15 and super powerfull and goes all super sayan 3, and unlike the others, he can become that levl and not loose his speed....... don't even try to understand my geeky-ness...
ok well thas about the extent of my week.. i'll try to post more a lil later....

oh and i almost forgot to mention that i started a new book... a real life book i guess u could say..... Its called 117... i don't know what that means yet... ask me later, and i'm hopeing to get a blog up and running for it.. god knows if i ever will... well

ttyl
byes
-steve

oh btw both my bro's friends are comeing over to watch the ufc fight on our pay per view tonight!! YAY!!! not