It's gettin' harder to keep faith in you.....

Saturday- my Gradnp calls my dad at work to say good-bye, becasue he believes he's going to die by the end of the week. after he calls my dad he goes to sleep. We get a call later around 6-ish saying that my grandpa suffered a stroke while sleeping and is unresponsive. My gradma is histeric, yalling at him that he needs to wake up, that she needs him. Around 7 we get a call saying he is still unresponsive, but is talking, he isn't answering questions, but is just talking...... our house is silent that night

Sunday- we get calls telling us my grandpa is still slightly unresponsive, but can now hear then and answer questions, but is terribly confused and still unstable. now the Drs believe that it wasn't a stroke, but his kidneysaare poisoning him. He had another spell thuis morning where he went unresponsive, Now he is awake, but still unaware of his surroundsings, confused and has no memory. He still hasn't eaten, but they Drs say if he can make it out phisically he might be okay.


i wish i could be there, wishi could halp. i'm so scared. My parents don't know, but i didn't sleep last night. I try to be strong, but idk why but i can't. I dont' want to talk to them because i'm afraid they'll say i'm being silly, or stop telling me whats happening so i don't worry. I cry when no one's looking and i just wish there was someone i could tak to about it, someone thats going to tell me he's goingto make it, not that their sorry. someone to give me a big hug, and tall me no matter what happens its for the best. someone to distract me, and keep me positive...... i need someone.......i need God.





Richard Lindsay
Monday the 17th will be His 81st birthday.

Onto other things............

I've done my happy post for the night now, i get to say someother stuff.............
(not pointing fingers, this goes to everyone)

Please, not no please........

STOP INSULTING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i put enough pressure on myself that i don't need other ppl, ppl that are my "friends" to insult me and make me fel bad about myself! i'm tired of hear how fat i am, how big my but is, how i overreact, ect. ect ect.....

If i wanted friends that make me feel worse about myself i would hang out with them................

BUT I DON'T!!!!!!!!

I want my friends to be nice.... like they used to be... and give me complaments...... and i can gaurentee you, that if you give me one i'll give you one back!

so please....... get off my case.... about everything, my weight, my family, my realtionship, my butt,and everything else, and just BE NICE!!!
and i think if you do this i'll be a little nicer in return and maybe not feel so bad about a twinkie once in a while, or having pop tarts for breakfast............



(once again.... no fingers pointed, this goes to everyone, wether it means something or not)

Remembering a Champion..

See this kid right here ^^^^^^^ this is My Cousin.... Jamie Vavra

I know i talk about him a lot, and i know it may get annoying, but the truth is i miss him, He's not really my cousin....... he's my brother. He's my inspiration, my supporter, and I miss him, pick on me all you want for it, but whatever. His my Family, and i havn't seen him in months, so yess.. i miss him!

This Kid right there was Newark Valley's # 1 runner and third in his class, he was a part of The champion team that won States last year, and now he is rocking as a collage runner placeing second on the top team At U of R, and being one of the only freshmen to do so.

So as much as i miss my Cuz/Brother i'm happy he's successfull in running and that he's enjoying it.....